There is only one song per side and you have kept putting the needle back to the start each time the song ends. It plays so often you know all the words. It doesn’t take a full 3 seconds for you to recognize the song on the radio. But you have actually heard it more than one time too many. The words sound like sonic waves harassing your hearing. Your mind grows fuzzy and you can no longer think straight. There are moments when you can’t even see straight. Anger wells inside and it is all you can to keep yourself from covering your ears and screaming while shopping in The Gap when the song starts to play again.
I almost hate the artist all because of one song.
I wished I’d never heard the song. EVER!
It plays in my head at a constant rate, sometimes the speed has been quickened. But it is the same degrading lyrics.
Other women came before me. Other women were lusted after and kissed. Other women were taller, or shorter, or smaller or skinnier or prettier or smarter or interesting or extraordinary. Other women – I am tired of this fucking song and it is beating his ugly rhythm inside my brain. I gnash my teeth like a wild animal at the artist formally known as “my boyfriend” – I throw daggers as if it will send the time wheel in reserve. As if all those words could be sucked right back into his shaved head.
He says he never intended to hurt my feelings but there are ways of saying things and certainly some things should never be said, and if they are (ahhmm, calling someone else extraordinary more than once to me when they are someone of the past) said once, LEARN A LESSON – don’t then repeat it, especially if given a chance to recoup your losses. Feel like repeating it? Might as climb on that wheel of time with your testicles exposed because I am throwing dangers. But I am not very good at hitting where it hurts most – why? Because I know what it feels like.
I will never tell you that any other person in my life has ever been an attention grabber – there very well might have been several. But because I care about you – you won’t even know about them, BECAUSE if they truly mean nothing, then they are just that, NOTHING. I’ve limited my stories to things that won’t hurt feelings, or cause any explaining. You know what you know -and I will always help the cause by talking down those that you know I dated. Surely, some don’t need talked down, they pretty much started at bottom and dug their own hole. Others, well, everyone has a shadow self and I am pretty good at sorting these people out. And one I know and love is still or was still sorting out his secret shadow self before I fell in love.
I wished I could take the record back to the store and exchange it for another record by the same artist. I love the artist – just not the song.
Wow… great piece, the energy and anger jumps inside the reader and enrages them.
Good luck getting a new song in your head, I am sure the artist has much better songs they can sing;)
By: Charles on July 24, 2009
at 2:11 am
Every person I have touched and that have touched me, every experience I have had, has combined to make me the person I am today. The same is true of every human being since the beginning of time.
If you love someone you should hold a measure of appreciation for everyone and everything that came before.
By: Buffalo on July 24, 2009
at 4:31 am
He chose to marry you, of all the people he had met in his many travels and many years… You, none of the others, YOU. So that is the ultimate proof that he thinks you are the most unique, the most special, the most extraordinary… you. I think that is probably the best and most important way any one person can show another that they love them the most. Congratulations to the both of you for having found that. You found something that is very rare and very elusive and that seems to escape most people. Good for you guys in not letting it get away from you too.
By: Brian on July 26, 2009
at 4:16 pm
I can sit here and think of every bad thing that ever happened to me in my life and manage to become very depressed or I can look back at happy times and forward to a future I’m in the process of carving out; plans for where I want to be a year from now, 5 years from now and so on. That is how we survive; we don’t dwell on all the bad things.
By: Ann Tellez on July 26, 2009
at 5:31 pm
I think I am trying to sort out the few things that occasionally make me sad. Luckily I have a husband that is learning to listen. After a year he has finally said to me “I was being such an arrogant ass and thought I knew how you needed to be loved that I didn’t pay listen to you and you were telling me all along how to love you.”
It is a relief that that we finally got a point where he he stopped and said “dang – I will try and listen” and because of his attempt to listen I feel much more appreciated and loved. and he will receive better love back.
By: conservativeliberal on July 26, 2009
at 5:44 pm